Where do I begin? . . .

I choose to tell my "story" . . . to BEAR my soul . . . right here on these pages, on this website. We all have a story, or stories to tell. They are what make up our lives. They are what make us who we are today. We share our stories, our     lives . . . with each other. We are ALL medicine . . . somehow, some way . . . to each other. When we share our stories, our life experiences with each other . . . we learn, we heal, we grow. We are each other's medicine so to speak. I choose to share with you, and in turn, perhaps YOU will share your OWN story here with us. I invite you to email me, with your permission, to share a life experience or experiences, so that maybe YOU can help someone else with YOUR medicine. Please email me at DawnToEarth@yahoo.com Thank you! I am also in the process of writing a book that will contain excerpts from "Herb Chat", an online chatroom that I used to host many years ago. My friend, Sparrow, recorded many of these sessions and sent me the CD several years ago. I just need to finish editing it, remove the screen names of the innocent and the not so innocent. These sessions contain a ton of I shared with those who attended Herb Chat. We shared a LOT. Those people became my friends. We all became family to each other. We loved a LOT in there! The book will be my story and many others' stories.  If you wish to  have your story considered for the inclusion of my book, please include permission for that as well and whether you want to include your real name, a fictitious name or just initials. Just let me know how you would like me to address your story contribution. All proceeds from the sale of the book will be donated to help others. Again, I thank YOU!

Walk In Peace . . .

Dawn Houts aka Dawn TenBears

Master Herbalist, also lovingly called "Herb Doctor" by many and also . . . BEAR 

My story

This is difficult for me as you will soon come to know.

I will do my best to share with you . . .

On September 21, 2006, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I had just seen my son for the first time in 2 years (he had joined the Navy and I had been living on an Indian Reservation in Canada). We had visited for a week at my mom's in Georgia. He went back to Michigan on the 18th. Now, I h ad to tell  him the "news". He, being HIM, the type of person who always tried to cheer people up, to make them laugh, to see the lighter side of life . . . took it in stride. He tried to cheer ME up. He kept saying, "It's okay mom, it's going to be okay. We will get through this together. I'm packing my truck. I'm coming to Georgia to help you. I'll be there for your surgery, I will hold your hand. When you are in recovery, I'm going to help you make your herbal things again. You can go back into business. Herbs and helping people . . . they are your passion, they are your loves. I will make everything for you. You just tell  me what to do. Then when I'm finished making everything, I'm going to sit down and have a beer. You can have a beer  with me if you want, even though I know you don't like beer".

The next day, September 22, 2006, I spoke to my son that evening for the last time. He said things like, "Don't worry mom. I'm coming down there to help you. I'm packing my things. The girls' (his twin cousins) birthday is September 25th, I will be there before then. You need to think about getting your hair cut and having them make a wig for you.  You can't find your hair color anywherre. It's unusual so you need to get your hair cut and have someone make a wig for you  for when you lose your hair from the chemo. I'm going to help you. You will go into business again, so you can help people. That's what you love to do. We can do it together . . . mother and son". Several hours later, I got the phone call that every parent dreads. My beautiful child, the love of my life . . . was no longer of this Earth. I cannot explain the pain, I don't want to. Only a parent in a similar situation can ever know what that feels like. Losing a child is like losing a piece of yourself.  You never get over it . . . EVER! The pain may lessen with time,but it is always there. 

This is extremely painful for me to even speak about here on these pages. With tears streaming down my face, I need to stop for now and move on to something else. 

Taking a deep breath . . . I cancelled my surgery. It was originally scheduled for September 28th. As it turned out, that wa the day Brandon's memorial services took  place. I need to share withyou part of the services . . . his eulogy. It was written by my friend, Sparrow, but apparently someone else contributed to the writing of it as was told to me by Sparrow (nickname). Later in my life, Sparrow told me that the eulogy was not just about Brandon, that it also described me. She said that Brandon and I were one and the same. I am honored by such a compliment. If I could be half the person that he was, if my heart could be half as large as this amazing human being's heart that I was chosen to give birth to . . . then I would be truly blessed. By the way,  to anyone listening . . . when it is time for me to leave this Earth, my home, I wish that this same eulogy be read at my memorial service to be held OUTSIDE. Do NOT give me a funeral. Just go outside under the sky and stand upon our Mother Earth and someone who loved me can recite these words. Throw what is left of me (I am an organ and tissue donor) to the 4 winds so that I may go where I need to be. Give me back to my Mother . . . Earth. Celebrate my LIFE!

RISING SPIRIT

Other council fires were here before ours. 

They still are and have always been. 

One day, they will burn bright again. 

Among them, HIS will burn the brightest. 

Many will gather at his fire.

All colors.

All beliefs.

It will be a dangerous time.

Brandon will rise above the fire.

Today we gather together at the fire as one. We come with one heart, honoring one spirit, a spirit rising. We've come to share our sadness, to find our strength together, as Brandon begins his journey home. This young man has touched each of our lives, has given us gifts we have yet to discover. But we've come to share not only our tears, but also our memories, our joy of having shared this beautiful life, this beautiful spirit. Brandon's heart holds more than we could ever imagine. All that he did and all that he gave, came from that place. He would gladly give his help simply for the asking. He listened not only with ears, but also with a deep understanding of what the words held, with an ancient knowledge of long ago. 

Don't be afraid to remember. 

Honor him with your memories.

His fire burns even brighter now

and he has given each of us

a glowing ember to carry always.

Carry with you

the eyes that could see

in you

what you,

could sometimes not.

Eyes that could see

and know 

your own heart

better than you, yourself.

Remember the respect

he held for all life.

That he never took  more

than he needed

and in return, 

always gave back 

much more

than he received. 

Remember . . .

That he deeply honored the Earth

and all that She holds.

That his roots run deep

and from these roots

he gathered strength

and found peace.

A Child Of The Earth,

he walked the land

in beauty and grace.

Remember the warmth of a hug

and the healing touch 

of gentle hands.

There is a reason for all things. Sometimes, as hard as we try, the reason is not meant for us to understand. We must simply trust in our faith, trust in Creator's decision and know that once again, there is something very important for Brandon to do. I know this is something Brandon wants us to understand. He wants us to know the honor of those things he is destined yet to do, and with this knowledge, begin to heal. He wants us to know . . . spirit lives on. It will be in the quiet times that his nearness will be felt most. We will feel the warmth of the smile we cannot see, feelthe soft passing of a gentle touch. We will feel him there at our shoulder, guiding . . . always guiding us. And if we listen closely, in those quiet moments, we will hear a voice, filled with love, say softly, quietly . . . I am here.

Where do  you begin?

And I end?

We are ONE.

We are the Circle.

The Circle is ALL.

My thoghts are inside your thoughts.

I live there now inside you.

Even though you do not see me anymore,

I am with you.

We are ALWAYS.

Remember . . .

BRANDON HOUTS HAYES

May 9, 1985 ~ September 22, 2006

After the funeral . . .

Surgery was delayed until October 19th. By the time they took it out,  my tumor weighed 21 and a half pounds and encapulated my ovary and the cancer. Apparently, my case was written up in some medical journal at that time (2006). I had 3 teams of surgeons. The chief surgeon was Roland Patillo (I believe he is 84 years young now). He specifically requested to head up the surgical teams. Great doctor!!! They said my case was unusual. I never learned the specifics due to the tragic death of my son the day after I was diagnosed. I refused treatment (other than the surgical removal of the growing tumor and the rest of my lady parts . . .I still have the playground, I just don't have the equipment) due to this fact. WHO wants to LIVE when your child has just died? At that point in my life, I didn't care whether I lived or died . . .

This is just part of my story. I hit upon the basics here so that YOU would know and understand WHY I am so passionate about this journey I am on. In time, I will add more to my story. 

Although you will see and be able to purchase the herbal products that I make, these do not encompass everything. I used to make SO many things. Currently, I  am only starting with 3 of the things I make due to tpopular demand" by you, my former clients and friends. This does not include that which I custom create for those asking for something specific. As this endeavor grows, I will be adding even more things to my "line" of handmade herbal products. I am also working with a soap maker that I have befriended. Instead of me making soap (I just don't have the time), I trust this girl explicitly to do that for me, for you, and for herself as making soap is just one of her passions. Details to follow in the near future.

Bear with me as I am doing this pretty much by myself at the moment even though I have the moral support and my own personal cheering section (thank you my friends). Eventually, I hope to be able to share my knowledge and teach someone else how to do this.

Speaking of teaching . . .

Another part of my endeavor, my journey, is to teach. This will be done through donation only. The donations will be used to cover expenses such as travel, materials used (hands on workshops) and to help people in need. That's one of my "jobs", to help people. I have been invited into several educational systems. I also intend to hold seminars and workshops wherever and whenever I am asked. I also have people that I hold close to me, who possess special skill sets. They too, are looking forward to being able to share their knowledge at some of these workshops and seminars. Later, I will  create a page and/or website for those wishing to donate to such causes. I thank you for that!!!

At this point, I need to stop. I said I was going to launch this website today, June 21st . . . and I ALWAYS keep my promises. Tomorrow, I will work on the product end of this site. I guess you would like to see some of the things that I make. Thank you for listening so far. Talk to you soon . . .

Dawn To Earth

Handmade Herbals by Dawn

In loving memory of my son

Promises to keep . . . 

Add Text Here...

Where do I begin? . . .

I choose to tell my “story”, to BEAR my soul, right here on these pages, on this website. We all have a story or stories to tell. They are what make up our lives. They are what make us who we are today. We share our stories, our lives, with each other. We are all medicine. . . somehow, some way, to each other. When we share our stories, our life experiences with each other, we learn, we heal, we grow. We are each other’s medicine so to speak. I choose to share with you, and in turn, perhaps YOU will share your own story here with us. I invite you to email me with your permission to share a life experience or experiences, so that maybe YOU can help someone else with YOUR medicine.  Please email me DawnToEarth@yahoo.com Thank you!

I am also in the process of writing a book that will contain excerpts from “Herb Chat”, an online chatroom that I used to host many years ago. A friend recorded many of the sessions and sent me the CD. I just need to edit it, remove the names of the innocent and the not so innocent. These sessions contain a ton of herbal information that I shared with those who attended Herb Chat. We shared a LOT. Those people became my friends, my family. We loved a LOT in there.

The book will be my story and many others’ stories. If you wish to have your story contained within the pages of my book, please include permission for that as well and whether you want your name attached to it or not. Just let me know how you would like me to address your story contribution. All proceeds from the book will be donated to help others. Again, I thank YOU!

Walk In Peace . . .

Dawn Houts aka Dawn TenBears

Master Herbalist also lovingly called “Herb Doctor” by many

 

My story…

This is difficult for me as you will soon come to know. 

I will do my best to share with you . . .

 On September 21, 2006, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I had just seen my son for the first time in 2 years.. He had joined the Navy and I went to live on an Indian  reservation. We had visited for a week at my mom’s in Georgia.  He went back to Michigan on the 18th.  Now, I had to tell him the “news”. He, being HIM, the type of person who always tried to cheer people up, to make them laugh, to see the lighter side of life, took it in stride. He tried to cheer ME up. He kept saying, “It’s okay mom, it’s going to be okay. We will get through this together. I’m packing my truck. I’m coming to Georgia to help you. I’ll be there for your surgery, I will hold your hand. When you are in recovery, I’m going to help you make your herbal things again. You can go back into business. Herbs and helping people...they are your passion, they are your loves. I will make everything for you. You just tell me what to do. Then when I’m finished making everything, I’m going to sit down and have a beer. You can have a beer with me if you want, even though I know that you don’t like beer”.

The next day, September 22, 2006, I spoke to my son that evening . . . for the last time. He said things like, “Don’t worry mom. I’m coming down there to help you. I’m packing my things. The girls’ (his twin cousins) birthday is September 25th, I will be there before then. You need to think about getting your hair cut and having them make a wig for you. You can’t find your hair color anywhere. It’s unusual so you need to get your hair cut and have them make you a wig for when you lose your hair from the chemo. I’m going to help you. You will go into business again, so you can help people. That’s what you love to do. We can do it together . . . mother and son.”

Several hours later, I got the phone call that every parent dreads. My beautiful child, the love of my life . . . was no longer of this Earth.

I cannot explain the pain, I don’t want to. Only a parent in a similar situation can ever know what that feels like. Losing a child is like losing a piece of yourself. You never get over it . . . Ever! The pain may lessen with time, but it is always there.

This is extremely painful for me to even speak about here on these pages. With tears streaming down my face, I need to stop for now and move on to something else.

The Service . . .

Taking a deep breath. Needless to say, I cancelled my surgery. It was originally scheduled for September 28th. As it turned out, that was the day Brandon’s memorial service took place. I need to share with you part of the services . . .  his eulogy. It was written by a friend, but apparently someone else contributed to the writing of it as was told to me by my friend, Sparrow. Later in my life, Sparrow told me that the eulogy was not just about Brandon, that it also described me. She said that Brandon and I were one and the same. I am honored by such a compliment. If I could be half the person that he was, if my heart could be half as large as this amazing human being’s heart that I was chosen to give birth to . . . then I would be truly blessed.

By the way, to anyone listening . . .  when it is time for me to leave this Earth, my home, I wish that this same eulogy be read at my memorial service to be held OUTSIDE.  Do NOT give me a funeral. Just go outside under the sky and stand upon our Mother Earth and someone who loved me can recite these words. Throw what is left of me (I am an organ and tissue donor) to the 4 winds so that I may go where I need to be.  Give me back to my Mother . . . Earth. Celebrate my LIFE!

The Eulogy . . .                                           

RISING SPIRIT

Other council fires were here before ours.

They still are and have always been.

One day, they will burn bright again.

Among them, HIS will burn the brightest.

Many will gather at his fire.

All colors.

All beliefs.

It will be a dangerous time.

Brandon will rise above the fire.

 

Today we gather together at the fire as one. We come with one heart, honoring one spirit, a spirit rising. We’ve come to share our sadness, to find our strength together, as Brandon begins his journey home. This young man has touched each of our lives, has given us gifts we have yet to discover. But we’ve come to share not only our tears, but also our memories, our joy of having shared this beautiful life, this beautiful spirit. Brandon’s heart holds more than we could ever imagine. All that he did and all that he gave came from that place. He would gladly give his help simply for the asking. He listened not only with ears, but also with a deep understanding of what the words held, with an ancient knowledge of long ago.

 

Don’t be afraid to remember.

Honor him with your memories.

His fire burns even brighter now

and he has given each of us

a glowing ember to carry always.

Carry with you

the eyes that could see

 in you

what you,

 could sometimes not.

Eyes that could see

and know

your own heart

better than you, yourself.

Remember the respect

he held for all life,

that he never took more

than he needed

and in return,

always gave back

much more

than he received.

Remember . . .

That he deeply honored the Earth

and all that She holds,

that his roots run deep

and from these roots

he gathered strength

and found peace.

A Child Of The Earth,

he walked the land

in beauty and grace.

Remember the warmth of a hug

and the healing touch

of gentle hands.

 

There is a reason for all things. Sometimes, as hard as we try, the reason is not meant for us to understand. We must simply trust in our faith, trust in Creator’s decision and know that once again, there is something very important for Brandon to do. I know this is something Brandon wants us to understand. He wants us to know the honor of those things he is destined yet to do, and with this knowledge, begin to heal. He wants us to know . . .  Spirit lives on. It will be in the quiet times that his nearness will be felt most. We will feel the warmth of the smile we cannot see, feel the soft passing of a gentle touch. We will feel him there at our shoulder, guiding . . . always guiding us. And if we listen very closely, in those quiet moments, we will hear a voice, filled with love, say softly, quietly . . . I am here.

Where do you begin?

And I end?

We are ONE.

We are the Circle,

The Circle is ALL.

My thoughts are inside your thoughts.

I live there now inside you.

Even though you do not see me anymore,

I am with you.

We are ALWAYS.

Remember . . .

 

BRANDON HOUTS HAYES

May 9, 1985 ~ September 22, 2006

 

 

After the funeral . . .

Surgery was delayed until October 19th. I had a 21-and-a-half-pound tumor that encapsulated my ovary and the cancer. Apparently, my case was written up in some medical journal at that time (2006). I had 3 teams of surgeons. The chief surgeon was Roland Patillo (I believe he is 84 years young now). He specifically requested to head up the surgical team. Great doctor!!! They said my case was unusual. I never learned the specifics due to the tragic death of my son the day after I was diagnosed. I refused treatment (other than the surgical removal of the growing tumor) due to this fact. WHO wants to LIVE when your child has just died?  At that point in my life, I didn’t care whether I lived or died . . .

After the surgery . . .

 As I lay in my hospital bed, wishing for death, knocking and pounding on death's door, I heard a voice say, "Live mom, LIVE!" But I didn't want to live and death didn't want me. Yet, I was bleeding internally, but the doctors didn't know why and I didn't care. About a week later, they figured it out. They had accidentally nicked my bladder during surgery. Eight days and 2 blood transfusions later, I went back in for bladder repair surgery. This time, it was a urologist who did the surgery. I will always remember his name, Dr. Bu;;ock, because he has the same last name as Sandra Bullock. He also hugged me and he gave me a belly button, something the other surgical teams didn't do because of the circumstances surrounding my case. Now, I was a little more anatomically correct.

Dr Patillo visited me in my room the next day. He sat on my bed, held my hand and said, "Tell me about your son". So I did. He then wanted to discuss chemotherapy and radiation. I said, "NO", mainly because nothing mattered anymore. He then said, "Dawn, I know you are a Master Herbalist and you need to do something. So tell me what you are going to do". At that moment, I decided to tell him that I would take my herbal tonic that I make (long story on that). He said that would be fine, but I needed to come back in 3 months for a recheck. We made a deal. If, in 3 months time, my test results came back and there was no cancer, then great. However, if they still showed cancer, then we would discuss chemo and radiation. Three months later, I was cancer free. No chemo or radiation and I've been "clean" ever since. I continue to take my tonic. That's a choice I have made in addition to other lifestyle choices. 

This is just part of my story. I hit upon the basics here so that YOU would know and understand WHY I am so passionate about this journey I am on. In time, I will add more to my story.

Although you will see and be able to purchase the herbal products I make, these do not encompass everything. I used to make SO many things. Currently, I am only starting with 3 of the things I make due to popular demand by you, my former clients and friends. This does not include that which I custom create for those asking for something specific. As this endeavor grows, I will be adding even more things. I am also working with a soap maker that I have befriended. Instead of me making soap, I trust this girl explicitly to do that for me, for you, and for herself. Details to follow in the near future.

Bear with me as I am doing this pretty much by myself at the moment even though I have the moral support and my own personal cheering section (thank you my friends). Eventually I hope to be able to share my knowledge and teach someone else how to do this.

 

Speaking of teaching . . .

Another part of my endeavor, my journey, is to teach. This will be done through donation only. The donations will be used to cover expenses such as travel, materials used (hands on workshops) and to help people in need. That’s one of my “jobs”, to help people.  

I have been invited into several educational systems. I also intend to hold seminars and workshops wherever and whenever I am asked. I also have people that I hold close to me, who possess special skill sets. They too, are looking forward to being able to share their knowledge at some of these workshops and seminars. Later, I will create a page and/or website for those wishing to donate to such causes. I thank you for that!

 I guess I should focus on the products that I am featuring at this time.

Handmade Herbals By Dawn . . .

 HERB DOCTOR

Multipurpose salve

This is the first salve I ever made. It was originally created in the early 90s. Many of my friends tell me that their kid(s) "grew up with HERB DOCTOR". Now, these same "kids" are grown up. Many have children of their own and now THEIR children are "growing up with HERB DOCTOR". That's such a compliment to me. 

I originally created it to help a man who had shingles. It worked. He was thrilled and relieved. However, I wanted it to cover as many skin conditions as possible in a single salve rather than a multitude of various salves. Some of the skin conditions that the hand selected herbs in Herb Doctor were (and still are) historically used for: cuts, wounds, herpes, cold sores, shingles, rashes (includes baby bottoms), poison ivy, minor burns, bug bites and stings and other skin irritations. Can also be used on animals (as long as they have skin). I recently had a woman use it to get rid of her migraine headache. Recently, I learned that it helped a woman with her nerve pain from a botched back surgery. I'm so happy for her, I could cry . . .tears of joy. 

 

SKIN MEDIC COMPOUND SALVE

This is a powerful drawing salve. I created this in honor of my son who was a medic in the Navy. He loved Herb Doctor salve and used to carry it around in his pocket wherever he went. When he joined the Navy, he told me that he wanted to be a Medic so that he could help people and be just like me. I was so scared when he told me this. Medics go to the front of the line. Inside, I was thinking, "WHAT have I taught my child?" Then it occurred to me. He WAS me and I was him. No different. Same blood, same heart. He wanted to help people. Same as me. Who was I to tell him "no"? He carried Herb Doctor in his pocket even while he was in the Navy. I carried him within me for almost 10 months. Now, I carry him in my heart. ALWAYS . . .

 SKIN MEDIC COMPOUND 

is formulated as a drawing salve using organic and herbicide and pesticide free herbs and natural ingredients historically used for skin conditions such as athletes foot, ringworm, parasites and other fungal and parasitic skin problems. Again, can be used on animals.

I must admit that I used SKIN MEDIC COMPOUND on my foot in March 2018 when I didn't have any Herb Doctor and I had a major infection going on. The wound wouldn't close and wouldn't stop bleeding. Long story as short as possible . . . My landlord's rooster was jealous because one of his girlfriends followed me everywhere. One day he decided to show me that she was HIS. He "attacked" me. I love animals and as much as I hated to, I had to find a way to get away from him. So, I kicked him as he was trying to spur me. Ok, so I was barefooted, my favorite pair of "shoes".  Wow! Major ouch! Later that night, I used the salve on it (and continued every day). It cleared up the infection and healed the wound.

In case you were wondering . . . The rooster, Mr. Grinch (you're a mean one Mr. Grinch) went to "chicken jail" for a while. Okay, okay, yes, I visited him during his incarceration and even brought him treats. I also thanked him for showing me additional uses for SKIN MEDIC COMPOUND

 

ICU Pain Relief EARTHerapy gel

I created this for myself in 2010 when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, 4 herniated discs, 2 pinched nerves, radiculopathy, neuropathy, blah blah blah. If it weren't for this herbal roll on, I wouldn't be walking. In fact, the conventional medical field told me several times that I should be in a wheelchair. Not going to happen . . .

I use ICU every day and carry a bottle of it in my purse whenever I go out into the world . . . just in case. I KNOW that I wouldn't be walking and would be in severe pain if I didn't use ICU Pain Relief EARTHerapy gel. I know this because I have stupidly stopped using it for days at a time. I guess I just wanted "to see" for the umpteenth time. Now, I don't leave home without it and I use it daily. It helps me tremendously! I have several people who use it for their arthritic pain. One man, whom I have never met, was given a bottle of it years ago. He used it for his psoriasis. A woman in TN used it prior to getting a tattoo. She said it helped so that tattoo pain was minimal. Yay! People let me know what they use it for and I appreciate that!

 

My knowledge of herbs is so essential right now.

I will continue to create for as long as I live.

Herbal medicine is in my blood. It is my history, a part of me.

Plant medicine and helping people . . . my passions, my loves.

 

This is a work in progress. Please stop by often to see what new things evolve.

In the future, I wish to hold “classes” much like I did before . . .

 with interaction and participation in a live setting.

I know that I will also be adding to my product list as time goes on.

Again, if you have any suggestions or requests,

please let me know at DawnToEarth@yahoo.com

You can find me on Facebook in both my names

Dawn Houts and Dawn TenBears.

I am one and the same.

Thank you for becoming a part of my life by reading my story.

I look forward to “seeing” you again.

Walk in Peace, Sovereignty and Strength . . .